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• Kathy Hilton, whose upcoming NBC show teaches people from the sticks how to be socialites "I would like to host my own show, possibly a makeover show," Melnick told this B!tch, "or something about how to get into parties or host a nightlife special, about nightlife around the world What matters now is your own reality show Hi-larious! Look for the show on the new upscale Plum Network, aimed at the idle rich of the eastern seaboard They are unsung heroes The Donald parlayed his boardroom antics into a full image makeover to become a paparazzi-hounded celeb (a celeb with a combover but whatever) and pushed his towers, golf courses and new water line, all while blatantly feeding his ego Even Orenthal James Simpson, non-murderer Take, for example: • Allison Melnick and the too-cool-for-school kids at the Vegas club Ice " (And we only thought we had a life Absolutely The reason seemingly sane people decide to face the TV-editing hack jobs and totally total makeovers and absolute dissolution of any privacy whatsoever? Surprise wants to tell things his way?" muses Karen Miller, executive vice president of marketing for an upcoming reality TV network called Reality 24-7 "I didn't want to send them out into the world just to be known as the 'Mafia princes After all, she sure knows how to pick a man What's the newest status symbol for any halfway-ambitious American? A camera in your face "They hope to shed a little light on what they do To be fair, casting director Randy Bernstein told the B!tch that "Kathy really does want to help It isn't just your garden-variety, soul-enveloping, all-encompassing need for fame " Dog Days: Duane doesn't look so ruff around the edges, does he? • Bounty hunter Duane "Dog" Chapman (That ego, by the way? Still hungry " Of that, I have no doubt Or maybe you just want to prove that you're a real person by sticking your hand up a cow's butt, à la Paris & Nicole? Take, for example: • Victoria Gotti, daughter of the late Don John, an inspiration to this B!tch and a lady tired of the whole Mob image thing It's not a glamorous job " Like a Virgin: Can Branson top Trump with his globetrotting? • The Palms owners the Maloof brothers, who hope to show viewers that their venue makes Melnick's look like Chabad fundraising weekend Given that just about everyone has their own show by now, take a few minutes and see which profile fits you! Profile One: The Selfless Savior (or to Deprive Us of You Would Be a Sin) Kids' Play: Let's see if Shar and Britney can learn to share Everybody who's anybody has one (or one on the way): Britney's boyfriend's baby's momma; that bounty hunter who got arrested in Mexico for doing his job with a bit too much joie de vivre; the gold-chain-wrapped, gel-obsessed teenage sons of Star magazine's gossip editor; Paris's mom and dad And that wormy little man who had a crush on Elaine in Seinfeld? That guy? He's got a reality-TV show Psychologist Dr (See Profile One ) The adventure-craving Branson couldn't be one-upped by that, so he'll be jetting contestants around the world as they compete to be his little helper "Love me, take care of me, recognize me, make me feel worthy Maybe) Fresh Squeezed: The Juice hopes his show will fix his rep Melnick also happens to want more TV work, herself Still in the development stages, the Simpson project would combine the light-hearted hijinks of Punk'd with the comedic stylings of one of the world's most visible flight risks! The working title: Juiced You will use this TV show as a stepping-stone to "bigger" and "better" things Symptoms: The world is your charity case No, no, no They don't get the respect that firefighters do "The funeral business has a weird stigma attached to it," show producer Robert Sharenow told this B!tch As Paris' mom told one wire service recently: "We will educate [contestants]"--and, one would assume, viewers in TV land--"as we introduce them to a world of culture, beauty, business, social and charity events that they might not normally have access to Sure, he got busted in Mexico a few years ago for kidnapping (bounty hunting is illegal south of the border) That's so done Or maybe it would just be a sadder place without your comic capers to keep us smilin' Even if you're loaded and already famous you can squeeze in some time to shill Trump Ice (hello, Donald) or unload millions of records to outdo your big sis (well played, Ashlee, well played) Simpson Wonder which airline he'll use? Profile Four: The Total Loser (or Maybe the Editors Can Make You Look Innocent Their show will also, reportedly, have a bonus feature: a competition to help contestants build a business That would be too simple Why Having Your Own TV Time Is the New Trucker Hat by Leslie Gornstein | August 18, 2004 All in the Family: Paris' folks are getting their own tube time A white-hot Answer B!tch Investigation reveals a spate of rationales for taking the publicity plunge • Nebbish Bob Balaban, a comedian who recently bought a tract of land in the Hamptons and thought it might be fun for other people to watch him "be Bob Vila" and build a house J ) • Virgin Atlantic entrepreneur Richard Branson will soon air his own Apprentice-like show, The Billionaire, on Fox They want your mojito dollar! Through an upcoming Spike TV series, the top club promoter and her cohorts plan to show the world that their newly celebed-up venue will soon make the Ghostbar look about as hip as the Jerry Lewis Telethon Simpson has reportedly shot a pilot and has been doing interviews with USA Today and other outlets to raise money and interest for the show They don't get paid very much And if she can do it all, so can you! "I think women will be empowered by seeing what my life is like," Jackson recently told the Hollywood Reporter Thank you, Patron Saint Jessica Simpson Nobody cares anymore if you've scored a dinner reservation at Ashton Kutcher's wine bar or nabbed one of Nicky Hilton's frighteningly motley handbags Symptoms: You are O Profile Three: Expose Your Moneymaker (or Why Pay for a TV Ad When You Can Pimp Your--Fill in the Blank--for Free?) Symptoms: When it comes to big dreams, that ragged girl from Flashdance ain't got nothin' on you But Sharenow, who is also producing this show, says Chapman wants to demonstrate that he's not such a scary guy J Take, for example: • Um, O Simpson Only with 10 million viewers and a press tour can you hope for redemption in this cruel world "I did [my A&E show] for my children, believe it or not," Gotti told the Toronto Star Take, for example: • Shar Jackson, the jilted lover of Britney's fiancé, is a working actor and single mom who is shopping around her own half-hour vehicle Gilda Carle has a better angle: "Having a TV show like this is just about the old applause syndrome," she told this B!tch ' " • The Family Plots crew, also on A&E J "Why are we surprised that O She couldn't stand the thought of her three teenage boys facing that kind of anticriminal prejudice, too ) Profile Two: The Image Pioneer (or Out to Banish the Stigmas Plaguing Your People) Good Gotti: Mobstress stresses over her kids--just like you! Symptoms: You and your fellows are so misunderstood it's tragic, just tragic " That's a killer outlook, fer sure " The council is circulating its list worldwide as an appeal to museums, art dealers and auction houses not to acquire the objects, and as an aid to police and customs officials Officials emphasized the difficulty of fighting world trade in objects coveted by the art market Fitzgerald-Bernal, director of historical heritage for Panama's National Institute of Culture Brinkman offered a rough estimate that 95 percent of looted artifacts are never returned " Fitzgerald-Bernal said looters work in organized gangs similar to those that traffic in weapons and drugs "Thousands of cultural objects are stolen from churches or looted from archaeological sites every year and end up in North America Latin American Treasures Being Looted Apr 15, 4:23 PM EST Mayan vases from Guatemala, carved stone monuments from Colombia, 16th century ivory crucifixes from Mexico and countless other Latin American cultural treasures are being systematically looted for sale to U "I would say in general in Latin America more than half of the sites that are known have been affected by this Looters have stolen from an estimated 80 percent of all known archaeological sites in the Yucatan peninsula, according to the International Council of Museums It is the council's third such list Even the monumental stone San Agustin sculptures of Colombia have been cut apart and exported â€â€?â€â€?â€â€? On the Net: International Council of Museums' list: http://icom The first described African artifacts; the second was an emergency effort to help recover items looted from Iraq In hopes of denting this illicit trade, the International Council of Museums has drawn up a list of objects most at risk and European collectors "Countries in Latin America are deprived of their history at an alarming rate," Manus Brinkman, secretary general of the international group, said at a news conference Thursday "Illicit trade has been going on for centuries in many countries," said Carlos M All of the listed artifacts are banned from export by their home nations, although they are not always illegal to import elsewhere Also in demand are Colonial-era objects, such as religious paintings, crucifixes and swords, often stolen from churches or museums A sort of endangered species list for art and antiquities, it includes photographs and descriptions of 25 types of pre-Columbian and Colonial objects popular with collectors The full scope of the loss cannot be measured, he said S museum/redlist Many items are dug up from burial grounds that have yet to be discovered by archaeologists, so nations also lose the knowledge that could have come from studying the sites before they were scattered and destroyed |
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